An End to the Debate

I was watching a video clip the other day of Obama giving some answers about when does life begin. He stated that it was something he had not fully formed his opinion on at that time. However, I'd say based on his voting record in Chicago, his opinion was already well formed, but that's not the purpose of this post.

I would say that at some time during my life, I too have felt that "my opinion was not fully formed" as well. I don't remember when exactly, but I'm certain it was before I had my own children. However, after watching that clip, an explanation popped into my head and I felt the need to express it. For me, and I would hope others as well, completely and nicely concludes exactly when life begins - and there is really no more room for logical debate (not that there ever was). A friend pointed out to me that there will always be room for illogical debate, but you can never win with an illogical thinker. 

To begin with, let's think about what is involved with creating life; in this case a human baby. You have to have a sperm cell, and that cell has to fertilize a human egg cell. That product multiples and grows into what will eventually become a baby. It seems a lot of this debate centers around exactly when does that "product" become a lifeform. The question is easier than it has been made out to be. 

Does life begin when the sperm and egg are created? No. Too early.

Does life begin when the heard starts beating? No. Too late.

Does life begin when the baby is born? Heavens no!

Life begins at the precise instant that the egg has been successfully fertilized. There is no question to this, and the fact there's even a "debate" is a bit ridiculous.

Let's look at an analogy. Let's say you're making a sandwich. You have the bread and you have the ham. Is it a sandwich yet? Obviously not. You take a slice of bread, put some ham on it, and then top it off with another piece of bread. Is it a sandwich? Of course it is! It didn't become a sandwich when you ate it, and it wasn't a sandwich before you put the pieces together. 

How about this one: you're in a marathon. All the runners are lined up and the starting signal is given. When did the race start? Obviously, right from when the signal is given. At that exact instant, a process was begun: the process of running the race. As long as there is no outside intervention, the race will continue and will complete. Before the signal, there were just a bunch of runners milling around. If they were never given the signal, they would obviously have never run the race. The process had a definite beginning, middle, and end. 

Just like life. 

If you left the sperm cells alone, nothing would change with them. They can't, on their own, grow into anything. The same goes for an egg. So, naturally, life does not begin with these cells in this state. However, when they are combined and the egg is fertilized, a new entity has been created that will, barring outside influence, grow into a baby. Do you see the distinction? You can't say that life begins anywhere in that line of events after fertilization (heartbeat, brain formed, born, etc.) because those are just different phases in the process. Before there were two cells; after there was something new and completely unique that didn't even exist before.

When that sperm cell fertilizes the egg cell, a process has begun. 

That process...

...is life.

There is really no room for logical debate.

A Journey Through DirecTV Hell

I recently was notified by DirecTV that HD locals were now available in my area, and I (of course) readily agreed to an upgrade. I had been waiting for this before I made the switch to HD. I got a free DVR out of the deal as well as a new free dish, plus the free installation to boot. Yippee.

So everything is awesome until the new free receiver in the bedroom starts acting up. I'm a reasonably technical guy, but I couldn't get it to keep working. A restart always worked, but that's rather annoying, to say the least. I finally called and after some "technical" support, she agreed with my assessment. As an aside - I wish there was some magic code word you could tell tech support that would get you past all the BS they make you go through.

"Ok, sir, let's try restarting the device."
--As if that's not the first dang thing I did.

"Now what I want you to do is unplug it, wait 30 seconds, and then plug it back in."
--DUH. That was my natural step next too.

...and so on. But I digress.

So the solution was to send me out a replacement, which I would receive in 3-5 days, and I would return the defective unit. Case closed.

Only it wasn't.

Fast forward a week and I have no replacement. I call and they say it hasn't shipped. They say it'll ship out the next week, after the holiday. I wait.

A week passes. No replacement. I call again; now it's the 8th of January. After some initial tracking down of the problem, her supervisor informs her that they are out of stock and it will ship as soon as they get more. Meanwhile, she lets slip that "That's why you haven't received your R16."

Eh? R16 you say? But no ma'am, I have an R22. Why are you sending me an R16? She has no answer, hence she forwards (dismisses) me to another rep. The next guy understands my plight but is unable to assist. I offer to go to Best Buy to buy the model I need and have them reimburse me. No bite. He forwards me on to Tech Support, which, according to him, is the only division allowed to create orders. Perhaps they can request a specific model number. This lady was a little bitchy right from the get go, and was flustered at my request. I again offer to go out of my way to make the purchase, but am denied again. I offered to have one of their local installers bring one out or I could go pick it up from them, but again, denied. Finally, she somehow she was able to place an order for an R22 and have it shipped overnight. Finally, I thought.

Turns out I think too much.

The next day I see that my order has been created and right next to the order it plainly lists "ERP_R15C_R Group".

Notice anything odd? That's right: R15!! Not even an R16 they were going to shaft me with before! This one is an even EARLIER model!!

So, I get the box the next day and lo and behold, it's a damn R15. I call them Monday (that's this past Monday, the 12th), ready to curse them into submission. I'm met by a clueless CSR to whom I recite the entire story again. I again offer to go to Best Buy. Denied. I again offer to meet with an installer. Again, denied. She forwards me on to Tech Support (haven't I been here before..?) where I actually get a nice lady. I again make my same offers of appeasement. She rejects them all, saying they can't do that. She says they can't request a specific model number, but they used to be able to. I'm cursing the frickin person who made THAT brilliant executive decision... She tells me that I'm going to need to talk to a resolution specialist to get this problem solved. She tells me she has marked it urgent and I should get a call within 2-3 hours.

I couldn't believe it, but 2 hours later they called!!

I lied; the bastards didn't call. I got no call all night, and none the next morning either. So I call back, at what is now 24 hours since I was supposed to get a call back. I speak with someone who is the most clueless of all, so she forwards me on to equipment, where I get to speak with an installation expert. Yeah, that's exactly who I need: someone to troubleshoot my receiver installation...oh wait - I don't have one yet!!

So this girl is the most bitchy of anyone so far. She is already having a bad day and apparently I didn't improve matters. For what it's worth, ditto for me. I make the same offers to her. Can you send me an R22? No we can't. We just tell the warehouse to send a DVR. Can I go to Best Buy to get an R22 and you apply a service credit? No, we're not going to pay you back for you going to a retailer. Can you have an installer meet me with that equipment? No, we can't specify installation equipment.

Well then, Miss Sunshine, we have a problem here. I say, "I am NOT going to give you a SUperior piece of equipment for an INferior piece of equipment. That doesn't even make sense."

Silence. Dead frickin silence for 45 seconds. I am not exaggerating. "Hello?" I say. "I'm still here sir, but nothing has changed. So, what do you want to happen here?" I tell her I'd like to talk to the resolution department and get this matter resolved. She tells me they have no such department. "Well then," I say, "I'd like to speak with whoever was supposed to call me yesterday." She tells me that the notes say a supervisor was going to call. THEN LET ME TALK TO A SUPERVISOR. (I didn't yell, but I sure felt like it...) "Hold on, let me see if I can find one."

So a supervisor comes on, and Angie, thou holiest of DirecTV Angels, comes to save the day.

A - "Sir, how can I help you today?"
J - "Well, I'm sure your CSR has probably caught you up, right?"
A - "Yes, she has. I understand you'd like a specific receiver sent to you?"
J - "Well, yes. I'd like my receiver to be replaced with the same model that I'm returning."
A - "I understand, sir, but we really can't specify particular models for equipment replacement."
[Ugh...here we go again...]
J - "But that doesn't really make sense, does it? I'm giving you a new model, albeit broken, for an older, discontinued model? How's that right?"
A - "We can only specify the type of receiver, and the R15, R16, and R22 are the current models in that particular line-up."
J - "But.."
A - "If I could make a suggestion, sir. If you'd really like to get the particular model you're looking for, you might want to go to Best Buy or Circuit City and purchase that one, then I'll just apply a service credit to your account to cover the lease fee you'd pay at those retailers."

[....Did I just hear that correctly?]
That's right, folks. The very solution I had proposed to EVERY SINGLE REP FROM EVERY SINGLE DEPARTMENT I SPOKE WITH was just PROPOSED TO ME. I was dumbstruck.

J - "That's absolutely what I'd like to do. I have suggested it to everyone and been denied every single time. I wasn't trying to be difficult, and was offering to go out of my way to make everyone happy."
A - "I understand sir, and I'm sorry this wasn't cleared up way back in December. I will inform the rep you just spoke with of this solution, and let her know that it is a viable solution in the future."
J - "Well, just so you know, you might want to send out a memo or something to every other rep I've been in contact with, because they didn't know either."

And that was that. I got the credit applied to my account within 5 minutes and I got the receiver that very night. To be truthful I actually got an upgraded receiver for twice the cost, but since they had reimbursed me for half, it was like I got it for half price.

See, here's the thing most people don't know about DirecTV's newest receivers, including, apparently, the reps that service them. The price you pay at Best Buy is NOT an ownership fee, but rather a LEASING fee. That's right, you don't own the boxes at all; they are leased equipment. If you were to cancel your service, you'd have to return them. If you were to buy the equipment, it would cost much, much more. So that's why I even proposed this solution, because I knew I wasn't actually paying Best Buy, I was paying the same as I would at their website, only it should/would be free since they were going to send me a replacement.

So, all in all I spoke with 9 reps and 1 supervisor across 3 departments, all in the quest of getting the same model I was returning, which I had no idea would be an ordeal to begin with.

Lessons learned? Be persistent. Don't get pushed around. Get names. It didn't particularly help in this situation, but it never hurts. Finally, know your stuff. When the really bitchy lady suggested there's no real difference between the different models, I was ready and rattled off every difference from their tech specs. She responded with muted silence.

Advice for DirecTV: 9 out of 10 people would probably be just dumb and happy with whatever model they got, but my techy mind just couldn't allow a model degradation to one with reduced features/disk space. Save those R15s and R16s for the people who don't know any better For those that do, just give them a damn R22 and save everybody the hassle.